and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize