Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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