Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize