His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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