No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
