They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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