from now on my penis is your penis
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
