It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize