so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
