I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize