If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
