Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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