Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
