the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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