"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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