He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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