your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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