you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
