I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
