I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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