Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
