So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
