and you said cock pushups were impossible
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
