they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
