i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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