i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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