ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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