You smell like stripper and shame
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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