I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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