Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize