she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
