the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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