After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
