Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
