she woke up with a sticky ear
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
