I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
