the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
