In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sorry about my life...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize