So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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