Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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