My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize