He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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