she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize