i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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