first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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