it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
