Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize