it was like his penis was on wheels.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
