Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
bring money and cleavage
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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