If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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