Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
