carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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