wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
