Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
