Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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