You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
