In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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