I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
