i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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