I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
