Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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