Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
