But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
