I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
