To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
