Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
