It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
