new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
