I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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