but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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