how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
