That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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