bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just found puke in my bra..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
