How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
