Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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