Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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